This is the third month this blog has been running and i am still in awe of how i have been able to keep it going till now. I am still surprised at how i keep having topics to write about and when i am about to go blank, i suddenly get inspired. If anyone would have told me 2 years ago i would be blogging and not just that, but blogging about Jesus Christ and God, i would called them a liar.
I have always heard that people come into your life for different reasons. Some to inspire you and teach you, some to hurt you but leave you with important lessons, some to walk with you in your life's journey. I met someone a few months ago and our conversations were on a vast range of topics, but when we got talking about God, he said 'i never pray to God for a calling,i just ask Him to lead me in life and show me His will'. This is after he said, a pastor had seen great potential in him to work in God's vineyard.
At the time, i thought to myself 'you must be pretty full of yourself if a man of God sees potential in you and ask you to pray for God's calling in your life and you think you know better and ask for His will instead'. He explained what he meant by that and i didn't argue with him but still thought he should have done as the pastor had suggested. Little did i know that, while i silently judged him in my mind, i wasn't much different from him either.
Growing up, i could swear that i was going to end up in the convent. When i look back at my childhood and my teenage years, every thing i did was always somehow in line with my beliefs of what i thought a nun was supposed to be. My lifestyle, the way i dressed always seemed to mirror some life in the convent and i remember my mom asking me sometime when i was 16 years old without me telling her, if i wanted to join the convent. I do remember too, in lower sixth when i had a private conversation with the chaplain of my school and told him how i felt, how i constantly thought i was seeing some light and hearing some woman's voice telling me to join a convent, and that i would be a nun, and all the chaplain told me was to pray for my calling.
I had forgotten about all of that until i met this friend, who was apparently told the same thing and did other wise. I had just began this blog when we started talking and every time he said that, up until yesterday, i had always thought he was wrong. But i did a double take last night. Somehow the love of God has always been burning in me,i have always wanted to share God's goodness and do His work and it wasn't until five years ago that the urge and feelings of me wanting to go to the convent stopped.
What changed five years ago? Why had i indirectly groomed myself for this nun-like and convent lifestyle only to let go of it at the last minute? What was different? Unlike my friend who was smart enough to pray for God's will and guidance and not a call, i just started doubting myself a lot. I started asking a lot of questions? What if i got to the convent and couldn't stand the lifestyle? What if i got tempted a lot by the outside world? At some point i thought, how could i give up my love for shoes, jewelries and perhaps a glamorous lifestyle for some cloak for the rest of my life? Never for once did i pray to God to guide me in all of that confusion or for His will do be done in my life.
And yesterday, i heard those words again 'pray for God's will and guidance and not a calling'. To my friend's credit, he turned out a pretty great person, his love of God, his desire to share the word with anyone who cares to listen when he gets a chance,his desire to always reach out and help. I should say i am lucky and blessed to be where i am. I never did ask or pray for His will or guidance but it found me anyways and that, i am thankful for because not many people are that blessed to be led to what God wants them to do.
So when i heard those words again yesterday,all i could do was to magnify and exalt God for being God in my life. That He saw how much i love Him and wanted to serve Him and decided to give me a platform. I have always loved writing and this is the third blog i have had and my only successful blog to date. I didn't have to be in the convent to serve Him, neither did i have to go a theology school to read, interpret and/or meditate on His word. But here i am, writing what the Spirit inspires me to write and sharing whatever message the priest or pastor talks about on Sundays.
It is not written anywhere in the bible that we need to be pastors, priests or nuns to know His word, to do His work or to witness the Gospel. We just need to be children of God who walk in the light and ask for His will to be done in our lives. Many times we have been told by ordained men of God to pray for God's calling in our lives. But that very word,-CALLING, is in itself scary when put in that context.
Some of us get scared that what if God's calling for our lives doesn't fall in line with our own desires in life? What if God's calling means we have to abandon every thing in this world to follow Him and do His work? For some people that is a lot to take in, especially if they have always had a glamorous life, they get scared that God's calling will mean for them to live in shackles.I was scared of it too at some point.
Gone are the days when people were made to believe that you had to dress a certain way to do His work, talk a certain way to be in Christ or look a certain way to belong to Jesus. Many people have shied away from their God-given purpose or guide because of things like that, forgetting that what they were doing was minding the flesh, what people would say instead of minding the spirit, what God says about them.
James 1:5 says ' If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God,who gives to all liberally and without reproach,and it will be given to him'. Psalm 32:8 says 'I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go;I will guide you with My eye'. and Psalm 119:105 says 'Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path'.. All three passages above simply emphasize the need to pray for God's guidance and Will in our lives. Notice how they all say if we pray for it, God will generously give it to us, He will gladly guide us and His eye watches us every time of our lives.
Not many people are blessed as i was or am to have stumbled on God's will for them.That He took my love of writing and turned it into a service for His kingdom. Sure i would have given up by now if i didn't have anything to write about or simply even because of the readership. But He has kept inspiring me even to share this very message now. It is very encouraging to me that i check my page views in the less than three months that this blog has been running and it is at 500+. Sometimes i think if i was writing about anything else other than God, the readership would have been higher than that sure enough, but i am content with the little numbers i have. Because the bottom line is that i touch somebody's life somewhere in a special way, and when i am blessed to see a comment, it makes my day because it is proof that at least one person read and was inspired, and was motivated, encouraged and or felt the Love of God through my writing which is my goal every single day. And if that is all i get, just one click a day, or just one comment, then i know my work is done, because then, i must have delivered the message to whom God intended it for.
I have confidence that He who started this beautiful work, will definitely give me the strength to keep going and in His time, increase readership as He sees fit. So i am asking you today, that no matter what you have felt in your life, whatever that might be, no matter what questions you are asking yourself and no matter the fears that abound, all you need to do is go down on your knees and ask that He guide you. Ask Him to show you His will for your life. Remember like i said, you can do God's work whenever, wherever and however He wants you to do it. But you have to ask Him to show you the way,i was lucky He showed me without me asking but that is not always the case, because He clearly tells us to ask in prayers and He will freely give us or show us.
So if you are like me or my friend who was asked to pray for a calling and are terrified, it is ok. Just simply ask for His will and guidance instead and both will always take you to what He has called you to be in this life. And may we all be able to find our God-given purpose and fulfill that purpose gracefully.Wishing you courage,strength and God's mercy and grace through this journey and remain blessed as always.